Before we began this process I had heard the term 'paper pregnancy' over and over. I thought I understood what they meant, but it hasn't taken long to figure out I didn't fully grasp it and probably still don't.
I didn't know that as soon as we announced our plans there would be a line drawn in the sand. No longer were we just saving, like we had been for the last 2 years, but we were official. Paperwork was being filled out. This was happening. We were officially beginning our 'paper pregnancy'.
When someone gets pregnant they have their own wait times. They wait for their first ultrasound, the first time they feel the baby move, the ultrasound that will reveal the gender, and of course delivery day. While they wait for these firsts there is also preparation for bringing baby home. They know they will be pregnant and have about 9 months to get ready.
When you begin your paperwork pregnancy all you know is you will wait. And wait. God knows the timing, not us humans. There is the application, the homestudy, the submission of a dossier, the referral of a child (or children), and then the travel date. You could have longer than 9 months to get ready. But I also think of a friend I know whose entire process took 4 months from application to 'gotcha day'.
All of that may crawl or parts may happen overnight. It is not uncommon to hear of a family that is notified and has less than 24 hours to board a plane. It is also not uncommon to have a referral and wait months, even years to bring that child home.
I'm finding pregnancy would elicit a YES! response from people. They would know right along with us that we have 9 months to go. They would relate stories from their own pregnancies. Yet, adoption is a whole new ball game. None of us know how long we have to wait. Most people don't have adoption stories to share.
The referral of a child/children will be a HUGE moment for us- probably the ultimate until we board a plane and go meet them and bring them home. We'll be able to tell people about them, show pictures, and even decide on names. We'll find out what special needs our child/children has and research and learn how best to care for them and how it will impact our daily lives. We'll get to know them from afar and watch them grow before we can even touch them. We'll meet people who have walked this road before us. We'll learn patience as we wait. But we will also relieve the highs during milestones such a completed dossier, when the referral comes, and when travel happens.
So, this 'pregnancy' has begun. We may not know how many months we have, but we are announcing that we have children somewhere out there. (Yes, given the ages we are requesting they are most likely alive and waiting even now). We may not have names or genders or ages for you, but much like when someone announces they are pregnant, we are announcing we are going to be bringing home a child or children!! We have to wait for that gender reveal just like parents do who have biological children. We have to wait to decide on names. We have to wait to bring them home, probably more than 9 months, but we can tell you we have children we are preparing for, already loving, and fighting to get home. How awesome (and humbling) is that?!
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