When Thank You Isn't Enough

I'm not sure there is any myriad of feelings/emotions that compare to this week's. Up, down, up and down at the same time. Numb. Ecstatic. Ready to throw the towel in. Confident and determined. Adoption is a roller coaster, folks. On the up side, we had some really unexpected blessings this week.

This week we were handed a very generous amount of cash. How does one even begin to describe the emotions that seem to be bursting forth and competing with each other? AND how do you even respond to such a gift? I was so taken aback since it was our first gift, and I was not expecting it (really are we ever?). After receiving the gift and stumbling over words and a response I shut the front door and immediately felt the tears start rolling down my cheeks while the emotions began banging around in my heart, colliding, and streaming down my face in the form of tears. There is NOTHING to prepare you for this. Nothing to explain how it feels to be on the receiving end of such a gift. Is it about the money? No. It's about the generous heart behind it, the support & sacrifice of a loved one, and about someone coming along beside you and saying 'Hey, I love you. I value what you're doing. I'm helping to bring your kiddos home. I support you.' It's a lot, but that one generous act says that and so much more.

After a few hard weeks this was very much a healing gift for me. Nick (who was not sure what had just happened, but saw my tears and waited for me to explain) reminded me that there will be moments like this all throughout this journey. He's right. I forget. I think it's all going to be hard. I can be too much of a 'realist' sometimes. I can forget to take delight in the journey. 

Then this afternoon we logged onto our Pure Charity account for the first time in a few weeks and were again blown away (and yes, I was again in tears) at seeing that someone else had backed us with a very generous one-time gift and signed up to donate monthly. This is someone I have talked to twice, maybe three times. And yet, there it was again, "Hey, I'm behind you. I value what you're doing. I'm going to help bring your kiddos home. You've got my support.'

Now, I recognize that support comes in all different forms, and I am in NO way am saying that the only way someone supports us is by giving financially. Not at all. In fact, I would argue your prayers are needed most. It is just that this has been so hugely felt due to the difficulty of the last few weeks.

How does one express gratitude for such generous hearts and actions? Thank you isn't even adequate. It fails to really convey the depth of gratitude... and yet there isn't anything that can really be said other than that. Words fail, but they are about all we have. So, if you're reading this, you know who you are... It isn't enough, but THANK YOU!!

Not A Fan of Rubber Bands

Today is easily turning into one of those really hard days. I've been told we'd have them. Days that just seem to kick you in the gut and leave you unable to move or at best staggering. After an encouraging visit with a friend & her little joy this morning I came home and started reading other adoption blogs our agency had sent us. Families who have adopted from Latin America, writing about the real ups and downs they have experienced through the process from application to home for several months and walking through behaviors and attachment issues. And it makes me cry.

I don't have it in me to walk this road. There's nothing in me that is equipped for this. (This is where I try to start preaching to myself about God giving me the strength and grace). For the hard, rough, and seemingly unending wait, for the days that I don't know what to do to speed the process, for the waiting on others to do what they need to do to keep the process rolling, for the times I feel powerless to do anything right. There are days I just want to throw the towel in, sit in a corner, have a good cry, and then go binge on chocolate or another comfort food. Cheese would be at the top of my list right now since I have some new dietary restrictions. Or read. Reading would be amazing right now. Yet I don't do any of these. I just keep carving away at the busy pace of life. Feeling like I'm chasing the wind some days. A friend reminded me yesterday I need to remember to take some time for myself after I told her it was refreshing to have a long wait at one of my appointments because I got in a few minutes of reading/thinking time.

We have been SO busy lately. I've been sick, going from obligation to appointment to grocery shopping, working hard on growing my business, and trying to not give Nick leftovers. When we talked at lunch today I told Nick I just need to get out of the house tonight with him and go talk, pray, and reflect. I find that I feel stretched thin in just about every area of life right now and that I have a strong dislike for feeling like a rubber band about to snap. My lovely type-A, people-pleaser personality wants to feel like I am doing just ONE thing perfectly well. Ha! God is teaching me my days aren't mine, the hours in them can't be controlled by me, but yet if I am not intentional that obligations & such will overtake me. Far too often, being busy, even with 'good' things, can keep us from the most important things. Adoption is one of the things that can all too easily get put on the back burner when I'm running from appointment to appointment or doing the laundry, learning new food sensitivity recipes, cleaning, and being a somewhat invested wife.

So our date night tonight (which have been few and far between with our crazy schedules lately) will be a huge relief. Just processing with Nick & getting his input will be a breath of fresh air. Getting out of the house where distractions abound will be good & taking time away from work, household chores, technology (yes, our phones stay away on a date), appointments, making dinner, and all the other things calling my name.

I'll be a bit less like a rubber band after tonight, I hope. 

30 Ways We Are Saving Money

As you may have picked up on by now adoption is expensive. Yet, the Lord has made it abundantly clear we are called to do this, so we are working hard at saving around here and have been for quite some time. It helps that I get some weird satisfaction out of being frugal and learning new ways to watch where our pennies go. I even have a whole board devoted to it on Pinterest. So, I'm hoping our ideas will give someone else in our shoes some ideas or just anyone who is desiring to live within a budget or frugally. There are 'smaller' things and 'bigger' things, but they are all things we have done or are currently doing.

30 Ways We Are Stretching/Saving Our $$

1) TWO plus years of saving ALL of my part-time/full-time income has given us a bit of a start in the bank, but it's a drop in the bucket compared to what we need! We knew before we got married this is what we wanted to do with my income and we have stuck to it by God's grace.

2) Make and stick to a budget like nobody's business! We used to meet monthly about our budget and have found we don't have to meet quite as often now, but we definitely see wisdom in knowing where our money is going and how we are using it. Some months I like to challenge myself to spend only half of a certain category if I can. Not always successful, but it makes me mindful of being able to live with even less. 

3) Sell a product you believe in. I started selling Jamberry and it has paid off already in just over a month!! I'm loving it and finding so many others do, too! More to come on that later. : )

4) Buy Walmart giftcards to pay for gas for our vehicles, saving us 10 cents per gallon at certain times of the year. We recognize some stations have credit card rewards, but we only use debit or cash. Kroger also has fuel perks if you shop there much.

5) Replace showerhead from 2.5gpm flow to 1.5gpm flow, saving an average of 70 cents/shower. Times 2, that is $1.40/day. At 365 days/year that is $511!!! Now we're working on shorter showers, but there is nothing like hot water on a cold fall/winter day!

6)  Lowered our gift budget, giving meaningful, thoughtful and often homemade gifts. We spend $10-$20 depending on the occasion, and we cut sibling Christmas gifts last year as we all talked about it and realized we're adults and can buy what we want if we really need it. 

7) Eat leftovers! Even if it isn't our favorite new recipe we still eat them or find a way to make them better.

8) Limit our 'out to eat' budget. We do fast food occasionally. I always get water, my drink of choice. Some months we take a bit from our grocery budget and go to a nicer restaurant for a date (As important as being frugal is, I never want it to come at the expense of my relationship with Nick). 

9) No cable/satellite/Netflix/etc. We didn't even have a TV until this summer and were actually given an antennae to use for the local channels. We frequent the library for movies and TV series. This has to save us at least $20/month.

10) Run our dishwasher at 2 a.m. when usage is cheapest. I set it to run on a 6 hour delay around 8 p.m.

12) Isty-bitsy teeny-tiny... monthly clothing budget! It's true. It's so small I'm not even going to tell you what it is. But let's just say I've learned to be creative with mixing and matching and content with less and I like it this way. 

13) Sell things at Half-Price! I still have books from teaching that I weed through every so often and take, or we'll go through the movies/music we had before we were married and decide we don't really need it anymore.

14) $5 savings plan (anytime we have a five dollar bill,we put it in a jar and are creating a stash of cash, slowly). I am not an only cash Dave Ramsey follower, but I do try to use it for groceries and a few other things. So, when I get a $5 bill it goes in a special place and gets put in our adoption bank account later. I was really surprised the first month at how many 5 dollar bills I ended up with. (I tend to do this every few months, challenging myself to see if I can save more than I did the last time). 

15) Adjust thermostat accordingly. If we're talking heat I keep the house set at 63/64 at night and 65-67 during the day. I bundle up and we use an electric blanket to warm the sheets before we fall asleep. This makes up for the summer when I can't sleep no matter how much I have tried unless it is 73, but it stays at 76/77 during the day.

16) Don't buy pop or bottled drinks. Nick is a trooper to have given up his Diet Coke. I love H2O and he drinks tea that I make here at home.  

17) Grow a garden. While this first year was an investment, we reaped lots of reward that more than paid for itself! Our cucumbers especially were a huge hit. With 9 plants we always had plenty to keep us happy. We also grew strawberries, peppers, tomatoes, green beans, onions, spinach, lettuce, and snap peas.

18) Learn contentment. The Lord is teaching me how truly blessed we are. We may both have older cars with a few issues. Or we may not have painted the bedrooms since we moved in or still have dated light fixtures, but honestly there are things I want more-like funding this adoption. It's about my priorities. 

19) Scour garage sales/Goodwill for good deals. (Or be blessed by friends). 90% of the furniture in our house has been handed down to us by generous family and friends. May not be the latest style, but it is helping our 1-income-saving-for-adoption lifestyle. Some of my favorite shirts Nick wears have come from Goodwill. I can get him about 5 shirts for the cost of 1 elsewhere and we walk away with quality brands.We've also had our own garage sales, bringing in money for our adoption.

20) Skip the smart-phone and contracts. We bought 'cheap' phones and skipped the smart phones since neither one of us have a need of them for work or such. I love that I'm only paying $30/month with AirVoice.

21) Use Priceline for getaways. We recently went to Louisville for an adoption conference and scored an AMAZING deal on a nice 3.5 star hotel that was cheaper than the comparable 2 star hotels around town!

22) Change internet providers or re-negotiate. When we first moved in we got our high speed internet for $20/month. We tried re-negotiating and ended up going with another company for slightly more. They recently raised our bill and we are in the process of getting them to lower it again. Always worth asking!

23) Eat a meatless meal at least once a week. This is getting harder with my newly begun wheat and dairy free diet, but is possible. It definitely helps spread the money further.

24) Combine trips/errands in town. I seldom go to the next town over to the store unless I have planned out a way to squeeze as many errands into it as possible. Since I'm 6-7 miles away it saves me about half a tank of gas (round-trip) each time I can combine errands.

25) Frequent the library. I used to buy books a few times a year or maybe more. Now the librarians see us quite a bit. If our local branch doesn't have it I will put a request for it and they bring it in from around the state. Nice perk of living within walking distance of our local branch. : )

26) Buy paper products at Costco. I stock up on Kirkland brand TP about once every 6-8 months. It saves us more than I could with coupons and I like not having to add it to my grocery list every few months. I also took a good friend's advice and use rags (I bought white barmop cloths) for cleaning and wiping down counters and the sink. Since they are white I can bleach them or I throw them in with all our whites on hot if they don't need bleached. This is saving quite a few paper towels.

27) Pay our phone bill and shop online with the Pure Charity plug-in. Hundreds of companies/stores are available. We pay Nick's AT&T bill online and get a small percentage back we can give to a cause of our choice on Pure Charity, be that our own adoption or one of several great causes.

28) Take advantage of an FSA account. We sit down and figure out how much we think we'll spend on medical expenses in a given year based on what we spent the previous year or what we know we have coming up. This includes dental, vision, prescription drugs, doctor visits, contacts, glasses, & more. Anything we contribute doesn't get taxed. I've read that someone contributing $1,500 in could save about $325 in taxes for the year. Be careful though because you will lose what you don't use by the end of the year or within a certain grace period.

29) Put off that (dream) vacation. Nick and I both have dreamed of making it to Ireland for years. We decided early on that we would put this on the back burner though in order to save for adoption. We'd both still love to make it there someday, but ultimately know that we'd rather see our funds go towards providing kiddos with a home.

30) DIY. Chair repair? No worries. Nick will take care of it. House needs painted? No problem. We'll climb up on ladders and do it ourselves (ok, that was a bit ambitious but it did save us a couple of thousand). Plumbing issues? Nick was awesome and persistent! Kitchen needs painted? My dad lives close and was going to help us, but we came home one night to a painted kitchen. He's quite the handyman and has been a great help to us. I'm very proud of Nick for all the hard work he puts into our house and the ways he helps save us money even when it would be more convenient to hire someone else.

There are many other ways we are being money conscious, but these are the first 30 to come to mind. Being mindful of where our money is going and where we WANT it to be going has really stretched me and challenged me to be mindful of money not being my own. We desire to be good stewards of what God has given us and recognize that being cheap frugal is helping us do that and pursue adoption.What are some things you do to stretch your money/save?

Pure Charity & Shopping Online

As I shared in our announcement this adoption is definitely going to cost us a pretty penny. It would be easier to not adopt. Easier to ignore the needs of children for a forever family. Easier to not think about and question where thousands of dollars are going to come from.

One of the biggest things the Lord has been working on me about over the last year is giving others the chance to get behind you, to get behind caring for orphans, to be love.

That said, we are looking into some creative more 'less direct' ways we can gather funds. This is the SIMPLEST one ever!

Pure Charity is amazingly brilliant! Most of you probably shop online. I also imagine most of you are going to be doing quite a bit of it in the days leading up to Christmas. A small percentage of those purchases at retailers you are already buying from can be used to back a charity you choose!! You can provide water for people in Africa, school supplies for students in China, OR 'coming home' funds for our kiddos! 

There are HUNDREDS of retailers participating (Target, AT&T, Walmart, Kohls, Apple, Groupon, Priceline Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel, Southwest)!

So, when you want to buy a book, pay your monthly phone bill/internet/cable bill, snatch a Groupon deal, stock up on vitamins or toiletries, or surprise your special someone with a new TV or gadget you can also be helping us (or another charity of your choice) bring our children home. HOW COOL IS THAT?! I have been in love with this model for months, and now I am incredibly thankful it can be an answer for helping to fund our adoption!

The easy how-to:
1) Sign up for an account.
2) Install the Pure Charity Plug-In.  (Or shop on their site and search for your choice store)
3) Click to add each retailer in the top toolbar, and SHOP! A percentage will be given to the charity/project of your choice! We'd love for you to back us! (Keep track of our progress right here on the right of this blog.) Funds will go directly to our 5013(C) agency, not us.
4) Share this with your family and friends! Post on Facebook, Twitter, or send an email! Your sharing and giving can help us get them home!

I'm not asking for you to shop and fund our adoption because it is about us. I'm asking for it because it is about children, our children, we haven't met yet, desperately needing a forever family. It's about God's glory!