When Thank You Isn't Enough

I'm not sure there is any myriad of feelings/emotions that compare to this week's. Up, down, up and down at the same time. Numb. Ecstatic. Ready to throw the towel in. Confident and determined. Adoption is a roller coaster, folks. On the up side, we had some really unexpected blessings this week.

This week we were handed a very generous amount of cash. How does one even begin to describe the emotions that seem to be bursting forth and competing with each other? AND how do you even respond to such a gift? I was so taken aback since it was our first gift, and I was not expecting it (really are we ever?). After receiving the gift and stumbling over words and a response I shut the front door and immediately felt the tears start rolling down my cheeks while the emotions began banging around in my heart, colliding, and streaming down my face in the form of tears. There is NOTHING to prepare you for this. Nothing to explain how it feels to be on the receiving end of such a gift. Is it about the money? No. It's about the generous heart behind it, the support & sacrifice of a loved one, and about someone coming along beside you and saying 'Hey, I love you. I value what you're doing. I'm helping to bring your kiddos home. I support you.' It's a lot, but that one generous act says that and so much more.

After a few hard weeks this was very much a healing gift for me. Nick (who was not sure what had just happened, but saw my tears and waited for me to explain) reminded me that there will be moments like this all throughout this journey. He's right. I forget. I think it's all going to be hard. I can be too much of a 'realist' sometimes. I can forget to take delight in the journey. 

Then this afternoon we logged onto our Pure Charity account for the first time in a few weeks and were again blown away (and yes, I was again in tears) at seeing that someone else had backed us with a very generous one-time gift and signed up to donate monthly. This is someone I have talked to twice, maybe three times. And yet, there it was again, "Hey, I'm behind you. I value what you're doing. I'm going to help bring your kiddos home. You've got my support.'

Now, I recognize that support comes in all different forms, and I am in NO way am saying that the only way someone supports us is by giving financially. Not at all. In fact, I would argue your prayers are needed most. It is just that this has been so hugely felt due to the difficulty of the last few weeks.

How does one express gratitude for such generous hearts and actions? Thank you isn't even adequate. It fails to really convey the depth of gratitude... and yet there isn't anything that can really be said other than that. Words fail, but they are about all we have. So, if you're reading this, you know who you are... It isn't enough, but THANK YOU!!